I’d like to talk a bit about how we program ourselves and become programmed when it comes to dealing with women…as well as how to overcome the negative programming that we often don’t even recognize within ourselves.

Let me ask you 4 questions. Take a moment to think about the answers…maybe even write them down.

1. When it comes to women, do you have an overall “positive” outlook towards your success? Do you believe that there is “abundance” when it comes to women, and that you can go out at any time and get a date if you want to? Why or why not?
2. Do you have any negative beliefs or programming when it comes to the idea of APPROACHING women you’d like to meet or asking women out on dates? Do you believe that you’re going to be intruding or annoying a woman if you approach her? Do you believe that a woman will most likely accept or reject a date request from you?
3. Have you CHOSEN the beliefs and attitudes that you have towards women, or have they been “chosen for you” by others, situations, programming, TV, the media, etc.?
4. Would you like to change some of the attitudes and beliefs that you hold in your mind? If so, which ones and what would you like to change them to?

If you’re like most guys I know who would like to improve their success with women, then you probably have one or two “negative programs” in your subconscious mind (if you’re like I used to be before I learned the things I know now, then you might have A LOT of them).

I can remember when I used to believe that women would be VERY offended or alarmed if I tried to strike up an unexpected conversation with them.

I can remember feeling that if a woman rejected me in front of other people that I WOULD DIE of embarrassment.

I can remember thinking, “Why would a woman find ME attractive?” And believing that the truly desirable, beautiful women out there just wouldn’t find a guy like me interesting or attractive because I wasn’t rich, tall, famous, buff, or of royal descent.

And as a matter of fact, even though I’ve spent literally YEARS reprogramming myself and learning as much as I could about women and attraction, I still know that somewhere deep in my subconscious mind this old programming exists. Of course, it doesn’t affect my behavior the way it used to, but my point is that once you program yourself or open yourself to programming from others and from our modern culture, it’s sometimes a challenge to overcome that programming and go on to be successful.

Let me give you a little Tough Love:

NO ONE CARES WHETHER OR NOT YOU FIGURE THIS STUFF OUT WITH WOMEN. AND NO ONE CARES WHETHER OR NOT YOU’RE SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN…OTHER THAN YOU.

Really.

If you learn how to meet and date the kinds of women that you’ve always wanted, it won’t matter to anyone. Your friends won’t think you’re any cooler (well, maybe a little), your mom won’t stop nagging you, your boss won’t pay you more money, and you won’t lose that extra 10 pounds that you’ve needed to lose for the past 10 years.

It just doesn’t matter. No one cares.

THE ONLY PERSON THAT CARES IS YOU.

And the only one that’s going to be able to do anything about this programming that we’re talking about IS YOU.

Your buddies aren’t going to come over tomorrow night and say, “Hey, you know, I’ve been thinking about it. You really need to do something about your subconscious programming in the area of women and dating, and I’d like to help you.”

Your mom isn’t going to call you up and say, “You know, dear, I’ve been thinking about it, and I really put some bad ideas in your mind about how to treat women…I’d like to address those things in this call and help you become the mac daddy you’ve always wanted to be.”

Nope.

You’re not going to get a call from the guys that run the ads that say, “Show her that you love her by spending five grand on a pair of diamond earrings” to tell you that the ads really aren’t true and that no amount of diamonds will help you meet women if you’re programmed to act like a WUSSY.

It just ain’t gonna happen that way.

If you want to do something about your programming and your success, you’re going to have to DO IT ALL YOURSELF.

Here, let me say that again…just in case you didn’t get it.

YOU HAVE TO DO IT ALL YOURSELF.

And what’s the best way to do it yourself?

This is a fantastic question.

There are a lot of ways to get it going, but I have a few favorites..and since we only have a little time together in this newsletter, I’ll get right to the point.

Look around and pay careful attention to what’s REALLY going on.

Just like a comedian looks at the fine details and tells stories about things that we never see…but are right there in front of us, you need to look closer.

Here’s a little story.

I was in Vegas awhile back for a visit. I hadn’t been to Vegas in about 4 years, so everything seemed new to me..there were about 5 huge new hotels that had just opened, and I spent the day walking around and just seeing the sights.

As I walked around, I looked at the people and especially at the couples. I’m not sure if it was because I was looking at all of the new sights or what, but for some reason I was really noticing a lot of little details… and I was paying special attention to the couples that were strolling around on the strip.

It’s always amazing to me how attractive women will be with guys of all shapes, sizes, and ages.

When you really look around and pay attention to what’s actually going on, you’ll be amazed.

And you don’t have to be in Vegas to see this phenomenon yourself. Just go out on a Friday night and look around.

Now, before you say, “Yeah, but if you’re rich or handsome or tall you’ll get more chicks”, I will acknowledge that these things can provide certain advantages, but they’re not NEAR the level of advantage that WOMEN get from being physically attractive…not even close, actually.

The more I pay attention, learn and try things, the more I realize that women respond to PERSONALITY far more than they respond to LOOKS.

I’ve even made it a point to ask guys who are tall, handsome, etc., if they believe that their success with women comes from those things. Almost universally they tell me that their ATTITUDES and SKILLS are far more important than their looks.

I’ve also met a lot of tall, good-looking guys at my seminars who have INCREDIBLE problems meeting women. The more experience I have with this, the more I realize just how little LOOKS has to do with the equation.

You’ve probably read some of these newsletters where good looking guys write in and say, “I’m buff, good looking, and I have women talking to me all the time, but I can’t get any dates..they only like me as a friend.”

So, part of this step is for you to take a day or so and go out in public… to a place that is PACKED with people, and look around at the couples. Look with your own two eyes and see all of the attractive women that are with guys who are NOT what you would consider to be “physically attractive.”

You need to see with your own eyes what’s going on in the REAL world.

This is a big step in changing some of your programming.

Watch some guys who are successful with women.

One of the best things I’ve ever done is make friends with some REALLY SUCCESSFUL guys (I’m talking about success with women here). As a matter of fact, most of the techniques that I’ve learned, developed, and write about originally started out as something I got from friends by watching them interact with women.</p.

When you watch guys who know how to make women feel that magical emotion called “ATTRACTION”, you’ll start to see the patterns in their behavior, and the patterns in the responses from women.

Nothing can replace watching a guy walk up to a woman, start talking to her, and walk away 5 minutes later with her number.

So make some new friends if you have to. Just do what it takes to watch some guys interact with women. It’s a big one.

Stop looking for a “magic pill”.

Realize that you’re going to have to CONSTANTLY learn and improve.

I know, I know. You’d like to take a pill and have this whole part of your life handled.

You’d like a computer chip implanted in your brain that will change you into a chick-magnet.

Well, until these things exist, you’re going to have to do it the old fashioned way…you’re going to have to actually DO SOMETHING.

At first, it might seem a little uncomfortable. You might feel weird going out to a bar alone just to look at the people.

But don’t worry, no one will care (remember what I said earlier…nobody cares whether or not you’re successful, only you do).

The more you improve, the more you’ll WANT to improve, and the easier it will become.

Read books, try things, experiment. Keep a journal, write down what works and what doesn’t, think about the things you’d like to change and write them down.

JUST KEEP IMPROVING A LITTLE BIT AT A TIME.

If you do these things, you’ll begin to REPROGRAM YOURSELF and change your negative programming into POSITIVE programming and success.

[Ed. Note: Since 2001, David DeAngelo has helped over 10 million men improve their success with women. His programs teach men how to overcome their fear of rejection, successfully meet and attract women, and become the kind of man who can be in a successful relationship with a high quality, beautiful woman. Meet and date the kind of women you've always wanted click here now.]

I get a lot of guys who write in to ask me how to behave around women. Many of those questions focus on the first meeting or the first date.

I thought I’d share a concept that I feel is VITAL to understand if you’re wondering how to behave around a woman you’ve just met..

The irony is that any dynamic movement about the hips that provides great rectus abdominus stimulation can also be dangerous for the back. Professor Stuart McGill, professor of spine biomechanics at the University of Waterloo, was one of the first to demonstrate this fact.

A Mistake Almost Every Guy Makes

I’ve noticed a KEY difference between the way men and women act when they meet a “potential mate.”

Women usually act in a way that can be characterized like this:

“You’re interesting to me. I’d like to get to know you better, and we can see where this goes.”

Men usually act in a way that can be characterized like this:

“I am so interested in you that I’m nervous. In fact, I’m already thinking of you as a potential girlfriend or wife… or at least a one-night stand.”

In other words, women are usually casual and laid-back when they’re first meeting a guy…

But GUYS tend to act like every girl is a POTENTIAL WIFE.

As you can imagine, this creates a lot of tension and pressure. And I’m not talking about the GOOD kind, but the kind that makes men shiver and shake with nervousness, and women feel uncomfortable because the MAN is acting uncomfortable.

I KNOW that you can relate to this in some way.

The Answer

The simple solution to this is…

DON’T DO IT.

If you start acting all freakish and nervous when you’re talking to a woman, stop yourself and try one of the different approaches I teach on my eBook, “Double Your Dating.”

My favorite is to ASSUME that every woman has SOMETHING that’s going to annoy me, bother me, or SCREW UP HER CHANCES with me.

The MAIN reason that I do this is…

SURPRISE…

BECAUSE IT’S TRUE! Duh.

The fact is that MOST women are NOT compatible “long term” with most men. In other words, if you do get into a long-term relationship with a particular woman, the chances are that she’s going to have things about her that you don’t like.

One of my favorite Cocky & Funny themes to follow is “You’re screwing up your chances with me”.

Let’s say I’m walking down the street with a girl to have a cup of tea. Let’s assume that she and I just met the night before, I got her number, and now we’re walking from my place to tea.

On the way, she trips over the doorway or spills her tea.

If you spend a couple of hours having regular, normal conversation… being Cocky & Funny, enjoying yourself, and generally demonstrating that you could care less how things turn out, you’ll be FAR more likely to take things further

I might look at her, shake my head in an “overly dramatic fake annoyed” way, and say “This relationship just isn’t going to work” or “What did I tell you about this kind of behavior?”.

In other words, I’m communicating the very OPPOSITE of “You’re a potential wife.” I’m saying “I’m so comfortable around you that I can even make fun of you without caring what you think of me”.

Does this sound a little crazy?

Good. It should. But trust me.

I didn’t develop Cocky & Funny ideas overnight… I researched a lot, so trust me. I share plenty of ideas like this one on my eBook Double Your Dating. After you read it and apply them, just send me an email saying “you were right” and I’ll reply “I told you so.”

If you spend a couple of hours having regular, normal conversation… being Cocky & Funny, enjoying yourself, and generally demonstrating that you could care less how things turn out, you’ll be FAR more likely to take things further than if you act as if she might be the love of your life and you wind up acting so nervous, stilted, and DUMB that she runs away.

Lean back. Be cool. Make jokes about her screwing up her chances with you. Tell her that she’s a nice friend. Assume that she has qualities that are going to annoy you, then point them out (in a Cocky & Funny way, of course).

Don’t lose your composure. It can be fatal if you do.

Another note:

Most guys don’t “get” women.

They look for tricks and “pick up lines ”when it comes time to LEARN how to meet women and don’t realize that all the tricks in the world aren’t going to help them if they don’t UNDERSTAND what’s “going on”.

That’s where my eBook comes in…

In it, I teach everything from the ground up on how to take things all the way from beginning to end… from the first meeting through the first date… all the way to the bedroom, and beyond.

You’ll learn how to overcome your limiting beliefs about women… how to eliminate your fears of talking to women… how to make women feel ATTRACTION for you, even if you don’t have money or looks, etc.

In other words, it’s a complete system.

[Ed. Note: Meet and date the kind of women you've always wanted, learn how Dave DeAngelo can Double Your Dating.]

Listen up guys.. because if this doesn’t apply to you now, it very well may in the future.

So you have a girlfriend or a wife. You’ve been together for a while and the sex dries up. What are you going to do? Trust me, almost EVERY guy has dealt with this issue… and, quite frankly, it sucks. Wouldn’t you agree?

When you guys first met, she was all over you. She might have wanted it all the time. She may have even been seducing you, talking dirty to you. She may have done all the things you wanted.. and more.

But, things change, and people get “comfortable”. So, what’s a guy to do?

Well I see a few options – some of which are better than others:

#1) Cheat on her. Bad move. Never works out. Better off breaking up with her first. If its your wife, and you have kids, it may seem like a good option. I mean you don’t want to sacrifice your marriage, life, kids, etc. So, you figure maybe a little something-something on a vacation with the guys won’t hurt anything. Well, in the short-term, maybe not. But, it still doesn’t solve the problem. You’d rather have her ALL OVER YOU, just like she used to be. So, don’t cheat.

#2) Figure out what a new guy would do to STEAL your girl and how he’d make her HOT. Listen, I’m going to be honest with you.. I’ve had girls tell me SO MANY nasty things they would do. This includes bringing other girls into the bedroom, doing this, doing that, etc. TRUST ME.. MOST women will do these things, under the right circumstances.. and FOR THE RIGHT GUY. Well… who would that guy be? Would it be a guy who understands them. Would it be a guy who tells them to SHUT UP? (that might surprise you) .. Would it be a guy who does nice things? Would it be a guy who likes to travel and do new things? IF that’s NOT you.. then GET A BETTER JOB, MAKE MORE MONEY, WORKOUT, ETC. and BECOME THAT GUY. Stop pissing and moaning and improve yourself, and your girlfriend or wife may likely want to seduce all over again. This leads me to my last point..

#3) Become more powerful and become a NICER GUY. This is a KILLER combination. A lot of “powerful” guys are complete assholes. And a lot of “nice guys” get stepped all over. So, you want to be a balance of both. You can ALWAYS get better at one or the other. So, figure out how to do it, and … DO IT. Your girlfriend or wife will notice. Either figure out how to become LESS of a cold-hearted, go-getter and become more passionate and caring. OR make more money, become more driven, become more successful and attractive to others.

These are only a few ways to get things back on track. Surprisingly, they don’t have to do with anything “physical”. If you want more sex again, its likely a “mental” thing. Why do I say this? Well, plenty of fat slobs get super-hot chicks. Now, that’s not to say improving your appearance, if you’ve let yourself get shabby, will NOT help your cause, however. But, its likely a combination of things.

And if you’re just worried about changing HER, then you’re definitely barking up the wrong tree. Sure, women can become very annoying. And SO CAN WE. Guys can be downright idiotic. I should know, I am one. But, listen, girls will HOP-TO when they have a guy on their hands they ADMIRE and DESIRE. So if you want her to SLAVE over you SEXUALLY.. then BE THAT GUY.

Don’t be so concerned with HER. Be concerned with YOURSELF.

What’s the added benefit of that? Well, if she doesn’t get HER act together, you’ll be naturally more attractive to EVERY OTHER WOMAN you come across.